Trees

Tim and I finally agreed on what to purchase this summer.  Trees.  I almost had him convinced to buy a BBQ.  We found an okay BBQ that we could easily afford - and one that looks a heck of a lot better than what we have.  But, Tim decided that he wanted trees.  Now, Tim and I have so very different opinions. I think one thing, he thinks another.  I was thinking we'd put off trees until we came up with a landscaping plan - which I've managed to postpone for many, many years now.  But Tim wants some trees now.  Again, I thought we'd get some $50 trees for the front yard an some bigger ones for the back yard.  Nope.  I think Tim is winning this battle.  It looks like we'll be getting bigger ones front and back.  Unless of course I can't do it and we only get half as many as Tim wants.

Anyway, our plan is simple.  We are going to plant trees along the back property line - they will grow to be about thirty feet tall and about ten feet wide.  Right now they are about 12-15 feet tall and about 4 feet wide - not as big as I want right now but we have to start somewhere!  If we plant them about eight feet apart, they may mask some of the unpleasant view we have out our back window.  That is the goal, anyway.  If we get some bigger trees, we may not have to see the 3 cars permanently parked in the back yard.  Nor the wood piled up next to their house (and those same trees may block our neighbor's unpleasant view of our wood pile).  Nor the shelves and entertainment center thrown around out there.  And we'll only be able to see part of the trailer with the broken blinds. 

I think buying trees is the better way to go.  Don't you?

cool weather

I love this cool weather.  It isn't cold and it isn't hot.  I'm not one for hot weather - so it is pleasantly refreshing to have so much rain.

I've been debating

whether to say anything or not - but what the heck!  I guess I will. 

In my previous post, I complained about my boss being gone.  He still isn't back full-time yet.  And I'm really frustrated.  He is trying to come back for a few hours each day, but he hasn't made it every day.  For seven weeks I have been busy busy busy at work - and it has spilled over into my home life.  And I don't like it.  If I were getting my bosses wages, maybe I'd be a bit happier about it.  But, since I'm doing his job AND my job for nothing more (not even a thank you), it is frustrating.  I'm tired of taking minutes - I've gone to more meetings in the last 7 weeks than I ever wanted to and I've got 2 more meetings next week (unless my boss decides to take pitty on me and work for those few hours instead of in the office in the mornings).  So, I'm bound to be extremely cranky for the next couple of weeks.

I guess the stress at work affected me more than I thought it had.  I mean - I've been under more stress in the past and nothing has changed.

So imagine my surprise (and hope) when my period doesn't start.  (Okay - maybe this is too much information).  I thought that FINALLY I was pregnant.  I was SURE I was pregnant.  In between being cranky about all the work that had to be done at work and what I had to keep putting off because there wasn't time, I was practically giddy thinking that we were going to have another baby.  I was seriously planning on what to do in the other bedroom - what color to paint, do I put beadboard up or something else?  But I didn't want to get my hopes up and I'd talk myself into actually not wanting to have a baby - because I didn't want to be disappointed again.  Home tests came out negative - but there was no period and I was feeling a few symptoms so I kept thinking that maybe I was.

But guess what!  Yep - no baby.  I called a doctor and went in for a test and it was negative. Guess those "symptoms" were all in my head.  I barely made it off the phone before I started crying.  I was a mess - really.  But luckily I was at home when they called and luckily Tim was gone so he wouldn't see me as a blubbering idiot.  I'm okay now - for the most part.  I keep asking myself why would i want one anyway.  Heck - babies cry and babies poop and babies are expensive.  And what if we get another child like Ster - one that is cute as can be one second and then driving us crazy the next with his crankiness and stubbornness?  Why do I want to start the whole baby thing again - the $500 a month in day care, the diapers, the baby food, sleepless nights, me cringing anytime a toddler wobbles.  Really - we are too old for this.  Grandparents don't have babies.  Sometimes I have to keep repeating the reasons not to have another child.

It would probably surprise a lot of people if they knew I wanted a baby.  I've always said that one child is enough - that I didn't want anymore.  I would laugh any suggestions off - but I just didn't want to admit that we have been trying and nothing is happening.  I never intended to have just one - I've always wanted three (I guess I do have my three - ster and two step-kids).  But I guess it isn't in the cards for me to have another.

Oh well.  Life goes on.