Tundra

I made an appointment to have Tundra put down. Yes, I teared up. I cried in the shower when I thought about it this morning. I cried last night when I remembered I had to make the appointment. I cried Monday when I called to find out what we needed to do. I've cried several times when I went to pet him - cuz I know what is gonna happen. I'm crying over a dumb dog! But I just love that dumb dog. Basically, I'm gonna kill my poor, little Tundra and I feel so guilty! Little does he know that when he leaves with Tim on Friday he won't be coming back. I keep picturing him looking up at me with his cute little face - and I cry. Seriously, I cry. It isn't like I have him in the house daily - I can't stand the fur all over my carpet so they don't come in all the time. And wet paws? They aren't allowed in my house. Cold outside? Well, if they are lucky I'll bring them into the laundry room - but that is after I take them around front to come in thru the garage or I wipe their paws first or I put down towels and make them walk straight from the back door to the laundry room. I'm not a nice momma - so why am I so heartbroken?

Friday is the day UNLESS - and I'm hoping for this - the vet can tell us there is a cheaper alternative than cutting off his huge, red toe for $1100+. Don't know what that would be, but there could be something. We just can't make him hurt like he does - he limps and he licks his toe and he has a hard time standing up at times. And I can't stand to look at his toe - it is so much worse than it was when we first took him to the vet. My hope that it would heal has disappeared.

My poor Tundra!